It looks like LeiLei will be having toe surgery sooner than anticipated

The one aspect of parenting I dislike the most... Making decisions on behalf of your children that will forever affect them. I am having to make one of those decisions right now, there really is no decision to make I just need to come to peace with something.

Last Fall I took LeiLei to have her little toe looked at. To me it looked like she had an infection up under her toe nail. The Doctor took X-Rays and felt based on the X-Rays it was a bone spur. So he told us that at some point it was going to become painful and she would need to have surgery to remove the bone spur. Well over the past month her little toe nail has really become quite 'yucky' looking. So I went ahead and took her in today to have it looked at once again.

The Doctor told me that her toe nail is a complete loss. As far as what is going on under the nail, that is still to be determined. He thinks we need to deal with her discomfort immediately which means removal of the toe nail. As a woman, I cant tell you how sad that makes me. I don't get the opportunity to have pedicures as often as I use to, but when I do I really enjoy it. It makes me feel very girly. As a mom and a woman knowing that my daughter is about to forever lose a nail, I am sad. My daughter is beautiful, she is young and innocent and has no flaws. To have to make that decision (as a parent) is just breaking my heart. If I could remove one of my nails instead, I would.

My next decision is whether to have this done at a surgical center, or at the Childrens Hospital. Hubby and I are really going to have to talk about this tonight. There are definite pros and con's to both locations. The best case scenario for this procedure is that they remove the toe nail, and we go on with our merry life. The worse case scenario is they remove the toe nail and out pops bone. It gives me the chills just thinking about it. So in theory she could be up and walking around that same day, or she could be off her foot for 10 days.  I am still trying to wrap my head around the keeping a 4 year old down for 10 days concept. Especially because we are going to be in Spring at that point and my kids are going to want to be outside. Not only will I have to keep her down, I will have to deal with her siblings a  4 year old and a 2 year old that will not understand why their sister is getting all of the attention. Ugh...

I know ten years from now I will barely remember this ordeal, but for right now I am a bit worked up over it.