Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Bio Mom Visit, Update

I can relax for another six months. Today was our visit. You may remember that I said I tend to be "moody" right before a visit. Well, it once again held true. I was a little on edge this morning. I know I will not win mommy of the year for what I am about to tell you, but I am sure many of you can relate. This morning LeiLei was doing a "no, no" over and over and over again. I was running around trying to get our other two kiddos ready for their visit, when I snapped... It went something like this...

Me "PLEASE LeiLei just stop it, NOW"
LeiLei "Why, will a doggy come get me?"
Insert me spinning around on my heels, and shooting her a look that said "what planet are you from?"
Me "No, LeiLei a doggy is not going to come get you"
LeiLei " Will it be a mean doggy that will eat me?"
Insert vein pulsating on my forehead, but at least she has stopped with her original "no,no"
Me "No, LeiLei there is no mean doggy coming to get you"
LeiLei " Will the mean dog eat me all gone"
Wait for it.........
Me "Yes, LeiLei the mean doggy is on its way over to eat you, so KNOCK it off"

Its a good thing we have dogs, otherwise I may have scarred her for life.

To make matters worse I have two sick kiddos, and a sick husband.  So, now in all actuality there were 4 "moody" people attending a visit. Well that's just peachy! I finally got myself and the kiddos out the door and on the road. It takes about twenty minutes to get to the Therapist office, twenty long minutes when you are filled with anxiety. My hubby was there waiting for us and seeing his smiling face in the parking lot sure helped me relax a bit.

Bio mom and grandma were there waiting for us.  The therapist has a room full of toys, which sure helps the kids ease into a visit. Our kids usually spend the first 15-20 minutes playing. Today Ademan was very engaged with Bio mom and JayJay was very shy, quite opposite from the previous visit. Bio mom always has a bag full of toys for her kiddos, and sometimes it is hard to watch her spoil them. I have to remind myself that its not hurting anyone, and that it only happens twice a year. Grandma took lots of pictures, which led to a conversation about Ademan. She has all of these wonderful baby pictures of him, and since we did not get him until he was a year old, I have none. She offered to put all of his baby pictures on a disk so that he and I will have them. Just another reason why an open adoption is so important.

The visit went rather quick, I was shocked when the Therapist said we had about ten minutes left. We cleaned up the room and said our goodbyes. I gave Bio mom a hug and told her she looked really good. She seems to be in a good place in her life, and I am happy for her. For the first time, I can say she was almost glowing. She looked really healthy. I gave grandma a hug and told her to take care. As we left, our kids said their goodbyes and told them that they loved them. Is that hard for me? Of course, but at the end of the day I would rather my kids love them than hate them. My hope is that as adults my children will have learned many lessons from all of this. Lessons about making good decisions in life, lessons about love and compassion, and lessons on forgiveness.

Thank you for all of the prayers that were said in regards to this visit.


  1. Meri I am so proud of both you and Evan!!! I am following your posts and feeling quite honored to be related to you...I love you very much!!! Aunt Debbie

    1. Thanks Aunt Debbie! I am so glad you are reading the posts... We miss you and love you!

  2. Meri, I feel honored to be reading your posts. I think I'm learning a bit each day about adoption and the effect it has on everyone. Sending you lots of love. Love, Aunt Linda

  3. to say I am so proud of you, is an understatement.... ILY


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