Happy Birthday LeiLei

We have a Birthday this week!!! Our oldest is turning 4. I know every parent says it, but wow, how can we possibly have a four year old?

A few years ago while watching 19 Kids & Counting (a.k.a. the Duggers, and if it was a few years ago it was probably only 17 Kids & Counting) they were explaining how they let their children celebrate their Birthdays. They allow their child to choose weather they want a traditional  Birthday Party or to have an Experience  (like skydiving, or being able to feed / touch the animals at the zoo). While they are young you give them a few choices, but as they get older they get to come up with their own experience (obviously within limits). I looked at my hubby and declared that was what we would do for our kiddos. Personally I hope they choose the experiences just so I can participate.

So for LeiLeis Birthday this year we asked her if she wanted a party or if she wanted to go camping, and she chose camping. Yahoo!! We will be celebrating our daughters birthday sitting on the river, with a campfire and smores.

Being the mom that I am, let me share with you her last three Birthdays...

First Birthday



 

2nd Birthday

 

 

3rd Birthday

 

 

A Daughter Like You

You're my daughter,
and I'd just like to say,
You bring me joy,
each and every day.

 

Whenever I think,
or look at you,
I know I'm blessed,
that's wonderfully true.

 

You're very special,

thoughtfully care,
A helping hand,
always willing to share.

 

You're always determined,
to achieve what's in your mind,
Thinking of others,
you're actions are kind.

 

I shall admit,
we're a wonderful team,
To have a daughter like you,
was my ultimate dream. 



 

by anitapoems.com

Upcoming visit with Bio Mom...

I love September, the cooling temperatures, the abundance of apples and peaches, and the slower pace that Fall tends to bring to our household.  As much as I love September, it is also a month that leaves me sitting on pins and needles.

September and March are the scheduled months for JayJay and Ademan to visit with their Bio Mom. JayJay and Ademan are full biological siblings, and we are so fortunate to have them both. They both have the same Open Adoption Agreement with their Bio Mom, which is two visits a year, and two letters with pictures a year. So, why do I sit on pins and needles? Well it is up to Bio Mom to make the arrangements. We picked a Family Therapist for our visits, and it is up to her to contact the Therapist to schedule the meeting. As each day passes during those months, I sit and wonder will today be the day the phone rings?

I feel strongly for having open adoptions. I believe it is healthy for a child to know who and where they came from. I also believe it is important for them to know that they were and are still loved by their Bio Family. These visits do tend to get crowded, both my husband and I attend, as well as Bio Mom and Bio Grandma, you have our two kiddos and the Family Therapist. As our children get older we know the questions will become more challenging, which is why the Family Therapist is crucial. Our kids ages range from two to four, and we have already started the "adoption" conversation. They all know that they were adopted in a court room with a Judge. Do they understand what adoption is? No. But if we slowly include it in our conversations my hope is that there will be acceptance, as opposed to resentment for not telling them sooner.

Are we approaching this the right way? Only time will tell. As their parents we have to be honest with them, or risk losing their trust later in life.

Unfortunately our LeiLei will not have the advantage of  knowing her Bio Mom. We offered her the same Open Adoption, and she refused it. So LeiLei has a closed Adoption, but we are in contact with her Bio Aunt who is raising her half brother. The Bio Aunt adopted the Half Brother, and they want to remain in contact with us.

Getting back to the sitting and waiting for the call. I did receive the call last week, and we scheduled the visit for this week. I must admit I do tend to get a bit "moody" right before the visit. My brain goes into over drive... Will she show up? Will she be clean? Will this be a safe visit? How will my kids react? Up until this point most visits have gone well. Not all, but most.

I ask that you all keep us in your thoughts and prayers this week.