Friday, March 14, 2014

Now accepting nominations for Biggest Meltdown of 2014

Well it finally happened. It was four years in the making but it finally happened. My kids outdid themselves on this one. I wish someone had recorded it, because I am sure I would laugh at it..... now.... So before I tell you who should be nominated in the category of Biggest Melt Down Of 2014, let me go back a few days.
So last Friday our Behavioral Therapist sent her assistant out to the kids school for an observation. I was so totally excited about this. I thought this would be a great way for them to observe my girls without me around. I had such hopes of getting to the bottom of some of my girls triggers. I had a secret joy in this, it is like a Police Officer catching a criminal in the act. As a mom of three kids I rarely witness the actual incidents that lead to the catastrophic melt downs around here. All I see is the after math which is usually a lot of tears, sometimes yelling, and occasionally a bit of violence. Imagine my surprise... I was walking in to pick my girls up from school  and I ran into the assistant in the hallway. She was so eager to tell me that the girls had behaved really well. I am pretty sure I muttered the words, "whose girls?"... Are you kidding me?!?! She then went on to say that there had not been any incidents while she was there observing. I mean don't get me wrong, I am glad that my girls were good at school, but really? She thought that maybe in a few weeks she would go out and observe again. She also reassured me that she would use that days observations as a base line for what their 'good behavior' looks like.

O.k. fast forward to Monday. I needed to mail a package but with three kids in tow I had no desire to go into the Post Office. I thought the better alternative was to hit a grocery store that has a Post Office annex inside. The kids and I got out of the car and proceeded to the front door. At this grocery store they have one of those coin operated childrens ride on toys just to the left of the door. I told the kids that if they were good I would let them ride on it, on the way out. We proceeded into the store and handled our business. Whats fair is fair, so on the way out we headed towards the ride on toy. Granted it is a super cute fire truck and in the passenger seat is Ernie. The best part, is that it is free. They are donated by the fire department. To my horror there was an out of order sign hanging on it. I am sure I immediately had the deer in the headlights look. It is not like I promised one kid that they could ride on it, I promised three kids that they could ride on it. I knew there would be no escaping it, somebody was not going to be pleased about this.

What quickly unfolded, no seasoned vet (mommy) could have been prepared for. All three kids sat on it, each taking their own turn. Each pretended that they were driving it and made the appropriate noises. I kept thinking o.k. maybe we will be o.k.... HA! Ademan was the last on the toy. I decided to just pick him up and carry him back to the car. JayJay and LeiLei began walking by my side towards the car. We were about six to seven steps off of the curb when it happened. Right smack in the middle of traffic. My darling little JayJay decided at that moment that she was thoroughly upset about the machine being out of order. In the blink of an eye she collapsed to the floor and began throwing a tantrum. I mean legs kicking, and she was screaming type of tantrum. Which immediately set off Ademan who was still in my arms. So I now had one on the floor flipping around like a fish out of water and another in my arms looking like he was practicing the breast stroke. The next two minutes are a bit foggy for me, but it went a little something like this. I urged JayJay to get off the ground. When she did not comply I grabbed her by the shoulder and yanked her up. Ademan was now down by my waist (I looked like a football player carrying a football, except my football was practicing the breast stroke and screaming). My hand was still firmly planted on JayJays shoulder when I kindly (or not so kindly) told her to start walking to the car.  At this point cars were stopped and staring at us, actually everyone in the parking lot was staring at us, and I was just trying to breathe in and out. As if that was not bad enough, somehow when JayJay stood up and took that first step forward she somehow stepped on her sisters foot/shoe and her sisters shoe then went flying in the air landing cars away. Now if you know LeiLei you know that it is odd things that set her off and when she gets set off she practically shuts down. Lets just say we can now add flying shoes to the list of things that set this poor child off. Now I have a swimming football at my waist, a daughter that is at my side screaming either because of the ride being broken or the fact that my finger nails were firmly planted in her shoulder, and my other daughter now standing about four feet away from us stuffing her entire fist in her mouth (Don't ask, haven't figured out why she does that when she is upset) with only one shoe on. I was able to get us out of the main lane and into the lane where our car was, after quickly retrieving  a certain someones shoe. I think we were about four cars into the lane when I had had it. I put Ademan on the floor between his sisters, and looked them all in their eyes and said, "what do you want mommy to do? Do you want mommy to stand here and cry with you?"  I may have even mock cried, o.k. I did and it felt kind of good. It was either that or scream! The gentleman who was next to my car loading in his groceries, looked back at me and laughed, and said "Cant say I have ever heard a mom say that before". I think I stunned my kids long enough to at least get them in the car. I am not sure what I found more appalling... My kids behavior, the fact that nobody tried to help, or the 60 year old grandma with her two grand kids that shot me the most disapproving look ever. She even placed her hands on the backs of her grand kids and pushed them to walk around us by at least 15' like we were a bunch of foaming at the mouth rabid dogs and she was afraid her 'perfect' grand babies might get bit.

So I must nominate my entire group for Biggest Meltdown of 2014....

and yet just a few days prior they were perfect at school. Well isn't that just peachy!


  1. Ok, I should have known better... I should have put on a pair of "Depends" before reading this post.... cuz
    I nearly piddled in my panties from laughing so hard... not at you,,, but... with you!
    I even got a visual as I read this post,.. yep,,, that's my grandbabies! lololol!
    ILY & Hang in there..... ILY

    1. Ready to book flights and send them your way!!!

  2. I laughed too Meri. I cannot fathom 3 at once, Tyson is very similar to Lei Lei, who knows when it will happen, but when it does :-\ I'm so glad you stunned them enough to get them to the car. You have no idea how much respect I have for you. Hopefully these stories being lots of laughs as the kids get older though. :-D

    1. I soooo wish I had a recording of the event. I would probably crack up, now. My blood was boiling at the moment. I was not a happy momma!!!


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