Friday, February 21, 2014

One must clean their canvas before they start a new masterpiece

I am a mom, I am a busy mom. Sometimes I am busy by choice, but most of the time, not. By five o'clock every day I find myself scratching my head wondering what just happened. Where did my day go? Why is my to do list not finished. How in the world is it possible to do two loads of laundry, two loads of dishes, a quick vacuum of the house every day and yet still not ever feel caught up?

I was once again asked how I squeeze in "me" time. Even though I don't want to, I set the alarm for 6:15 a.m. (most mornings) just so I can have one cup of coffee in peace. I also use that time to do my daily devotional. On the days that I am not able to squeeze in "me" time, I find that my entire day seems to be a struggle. It doesn't matter what your Religion or Beliefs are, I think everyone should put aside a few minutes every day to catch there breath, have a cup of coffee / tea, and focus. Prepare for the day ahead, or look back on the day you just had. My kids have an art easel and I watch them put time and energy into their masterpieces and usually more times than not, they run to get me so that they can show off their work. What always amazes me, is that I no sooner praise them and they are already taking the eraser to it wiping every inch of their canvas clean to start on their next masterpiece. My "me" time is much like that eraser. I put a lot of time and energy into my family every day and I need a moment to think about and completely erase what has just happened in order to start new. My kids don't start a new piece of art on top of an old piece of art, even they know better. You will not be able to see anything, all you will have is a mess on your canvas. If I don't get the chance to erase then I will be adding all sorts of stuff onto an already dirty canvas. Those are the days that I struggle, those are the days that I express tired mom, cranky mom, not so much fun mom, can we trade this one in for a new mom, mom characteristics. I am not saying that my coffee and devotional are a cure all, there are days when I look at the clock almost with dread because I know my kids will be waking up soon. Its usually in that moment that I pray.. Please Lord change my heart, because it is not in the right place. Please give me patience, help me control any feelings of anger that might arise today, fill me with enough love that it spills over to my kiddos. It is usually at about the time I say Amen that I feel a calm come over me and that is when I know we will be o.k.

Today I knew Ademan and I would have some time to kill in town after we dropped his sisters off at school and finished our errands. So rather than walking around Target and spending money we don't need to. I decided he and I needed some time alone at our favorite (maybe not his but definitely mine) cupcake bakery. We walked in, ordered one cupcake and split it. We spent a good 45 minutes there enjoying our cupcake and having a pretend tea party thanks in part to the owner who has a mini tea set.
She (the owner) actually came over and spent time with us. She knows us well, as she is the one who has done the cupcakes and cakes for all of our adoption parties as well as a few birthday parties.
In order for me to be in the moment and to have moments like this with my babies I need to have cleaned my canvas. I need to have rid myself of worry, concern, fear, anxiety, all common emotions that many of us let control our lives. For me, that can only be done by spending some quiet time in the morning when I can pray to my Lord and say "I surrender, I release it to You"...

1 comment:

  1. You will truly enjoy the little book I gave you... I know I did...


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