Do I need to wear the parent Dunce Cap?

I would give anything for 24 hours of compliance from my children. I swear I must have been absent when they taught the 'How To Be A Good Mommy With Kids Who Obey' class back in school. Oh that's right, nobody shows or teaches you, which is why most of us spend many a moments contemplating sitting in the corner, rocking back and forth, while sucking our thumbs to self sooth ourselves. I am sooooo having one of those days. Actually, I have had quite a few of those lately.

I am having such a struggle with JayJay.  Our behavioral therapist has assured me that this is quite normal, but gosh darn it, I have not heard any mom complain about what I am about to share with you. 

While trying to help LeiLei with her struggles we have apparently allowed JayJays love/self confidence meter to fall into the dangerous red zone. I didn't feel like I was treating her any differently, and in all reality I wasn't. The problem is that we upped the praises with LeiLei so much, that the amount of praises JayJay was receiving was far less (even though it was no less than before, it was now less in comparison). This resulted in a backlash. When I first talked to therapist about it I was explaining that she was starting to throw 20-30 tantrums a day. So we kind of came up with a way to start building her back up.

It worked for maybe a nano second. This is how bad it has gotten.

This morning while getting the girls ready for school I decided to make Pillsbury Grand Blueberry biscuits. When they were finished I placed them on top of my cook top to cool. The girls and I then began our hair routine in the bathroom, (or so I thought) I dint realize that JayJay was no longer in there with us. Next thing I know JayJay comes into the bathroom and tells me she burnt her tongue. My first thought was, I told you not to touch the biscuits, I told you they were hot, blah, blah, blah. Then I asked her what it was she burnt her tongue on, and she said it was the thing I took out of the oven. WHAT??? I marched her into the kitchen and made her point to the item she had placed her tongue on, and sure enough, it was the cookie sheet. She placed her tongue on a blazing HOT cookie sheet, and yes the cookie sheet was out of reach. She apparently drug a stool over so that she could reach it. So, I iced her tongue and off to school she went.

I was so hoping that I would return to pick up two happy girls. I kind of did.... They were happy... but should not have been. Shortly after class started the teachers assistant told JayJay it was time to put her Crayons away, to which she said ,"NO" and then proceeded to brake every crayon in half... WHAT??? Then while they were having show and tell JayJay was having a hard time waiting her turn. Teacher told her a few times that she needed to wait her turn, her response... taking her brothers sunglasses (don't ask, its what she wanted to take to show and tell) and braking them in half. WHAT???

We had quite the conversation on the drive home from school. For some reason I could just tell that I was not getting through to her. We had lunch once we got home, and then I put them down for quiet time. She was awfully quiet during quiet time, and that should have been my first clue... When I went in there after about an hour and a half LeiLei and Ademan came flying out. JayJay said she wanted to stay in her bed...Hmmm. I looked right at her and said "JayJay did you have an accident?" she said "No"... Hmmm. 

Me "JayJay we have talked about lying, are you lying right now?" 

JayJay, "No"...Hmmm... 

Me "JayJay look me in the eyes, did you have an accident?" 

JayJay "No"...Hmmmm...

Me "JayJay are you lying to me?"

JayJay "Yes"

Its odd, you are almost more stumped as to what to do when they admit to lying. She then preceded to tell me that not only did she wet her undies, but she also pooped in them. It took every bit of self control that I could muster up to not freak out. That was the last straw for me today. I made her clean herself up, I made her throw her big girl undies away and I made her get dressed by herself. Sometimes You have to wonder what the heck am I doing wrong? I know that no two kids are alike and no two parents have the same parenting style but my goodness I would love to know that I am not the only one feeling like I should be wearing the parent Dunce Cap...