One year ago, I started a little Blog...

One year ago, I started a little Blog that chronicled my families life. Some thought it was great that I was sharing our journey with the world, others thought I had officially lost it. The truth, is probably somewhere in between. There have been topics that I have written about that have made me pause just before I hit the Publish button, and then there have been topics that have been 'no brainers'. The truth is that I love to write I always have. Words, writing, reading have all been a form of therapy for me. Lets get real, who doesn't benefit from a little therapy...

I began to struggle though, towards the beginning of Summer. I had plenty to write about, I just could not seem to find even five minutes to sit down and formulate my thoughts. This did not just apply to my Blog, we are talking life in general. By mid summer, I could not even hear myself think anymore. I was letting Life take control of me, and that is dangerous. That is when you stop living, you are merely going through the motions.  I felt like I was standing in the middle of a Highway with cars speeding all around me, and yet my movements were in slow motion. I pray that you never experience this, yet I know at some point we all go through it. For some, it is a constant struggle...

I am one of those people that believes everything happens for a reason. I needed to feel this 'out of control' feeling because we are now coming to the realization that our daughter 'LeiLei' probably feels 'out of control' quite a bit. How can anyone possibly help another individual when they themselves have never felt what that person is going through.  I now see how scary it can be, especially for a child. We have been diligent in keeping her active with Behavioral Therapy, attending weekly sessions for just shy of a year. Her improvements are HUGE, and I am so thankful for that. With these improvements we have now more than ever been able to see that things are just 'off' with her.  As a mom it breaks my heart to say that, as an advocate for my child I say lets fix it. Our next step will be a Neuropsych Evaluation. That will not come easy (or cheap)... Doctors like to wait until the kiddos are a bit older (around age 6) to perform such evaluations. So we have about a year of waiting ahead of us. Which is good because that gives this momma some time to come up with the money... I nearly fell out of my chair when I was told that they cost around $5,000... Yes, you read that right... No wonder so many people go untreated...

My beautiful LeiLei finding her 'Zen' during one of our beach trips this past summer...

I am so thankful for all of you who have followed our journey this past year. I look forward to another year of greatness, sadness, struggles, and adventures! I thank you all for your kind, uplifting, and sometimes down right funny comments you have left for me throughout the year. Most importantly I am thankful for my husband who from day 1 has supported me on this Blog adventure.  Have a lovely day!

I just did the math, send wine quick!

I know you have all heard the old saying 'Elephant in the Room'... Well I have an Elephant in the Room... It has been here for about 10 days, I see it every day, as a matter of fact all day every day, and yet I don't deal with it. You may remember that this past Spring we were struggling with the decision on whether or not we should send our kids back to Preschool... The ages in our home would make everyone a candidate for Preschool. We have one that turns 5 in September just missing that Kindergarten cut off, another turns 5 in January, and our youngest is 3. After great debate we felt that we needed to keep them all home for one more year. That also meant that I had to now take on the role of Teacher. Don't get me wrong, I was already doing that but now I have to up my game... Enter said elephant...

Then there comes that moment when you think... What did I agree to? When this box initially arrived I was so very excited. I felt like a kid at Christmas, I was truly excited. Lets just say it was short lived. By the time I had unpacked half of the box I was starting to break out into a cold sweat...

This can't possibly ALL be for preschool... Yet it is. I quickly placed all of it back in the box, which now sits on a coffee table in our living room. Summer is winding down (OK that was hard to admit) and I know I need to come to grips with this. It was a group decision after all, and I did have a 50% vote in getting us this elephant. Lets be real when we were making this decision I was sending kids off to Preschool 2 days a week, which gave me a bit of a break.... I have now had all three kids under my feet I mean home for two LONG I mean strait months. If I can handle all 3 kids home for the past two months, I can surely do this for another.... Really? I just did the math...12 months....... Send wine, quick!