The Words That Made Me Stop

I have been trying so very hard to get back in the swing of life. After a very challenging eight months I feel as if I have to consciously make my attitude change.  I am tired of being tired, upset, sad, cranky, and helpless. The craziness has to stop, and only I can make that happen.

Many chapters have come to an end in our lives over the past few months, and that is a weird feeling. Have you ever read a really good book, the kind that just sucks you in, and before you know it you are reading the last sentence. You loved the book so much that it almost became a part of you while you were reading it. Then it was over, the last sentence was read, and you are left sitting there holding a completed book. It is a weird feeling... That is how I have spent the past few days.

We received the results from Pathology for LeiLei, and the tumor was non cancerous. Such a relief! We do have a 50/50 shot of the tumor coming back, but we will cross that bridge when we get to it. As you know that 'chapter' in our life has been going on since last September. It was very well written and definitely a page turner.

Our Sammie dog had to be put down last Friday. As many of you know about 3 months ago she suffered from back to back Grand Mal Seizures. That changed our daily routines for a solid 3 months, not that I am complaining. Between medications, observing her tremors and break through seizures, to cleaning up accidents in the house because she was pretty doped up, our 'normal' routine became quite cumber sum. Another chapter finished (and I wouldn't change it for anything).

Ademan turned 3 this week, and I see him as a little boy now. He is no longer my squishy little baby. That was hard for me. I had to come to grips with the fact that he was probably my last baby. (Although, I have said that before). That is always a hard chapter to finish. I know all moms can agree with me on that one.

This has been a challenging year for all of us. I am sure my kids have felt it, and I know hubby has felt it. Now its time to stop and take inventory of what we do have going on so we can focus on the current chapters that our family is working on. While sitting down this morning and staring at my 7,000+ Emails that I am too overwhelmed to even go through, I saw a Title to another Blog Post that said... "Today I Will"... Three little words that made me stop. I get so caught up in my To Do Lists for the day that I do not make it a priority to have a 'Today I Will' list. I don't know about you but my to do lists are kind of like stars to shoot for. It is usually a list of ten or so things that I would like to get done during the day. I can usually get about half of them done, and the rest go onto tomorrows list. What a world of difference in just changing the title of my To Do's... When I say I Will Do something, it puts me back in control. I Will control whether or not a task gets done. By making a To Do List, I am saying that I have things I want to get done, but everything around me is still in control (not me)... That has to STOP... Life is a balance and now that I am in the moving forward stage of life again (as opposed to the getting through each day stage) I need to take charge.

So Today I Will...
Take my kids to the Doctor
Go to the Bank
Go to the Department of Licensing
Take a walk on my property
Have individual snuggle time with each child
Water my plants
Do a load of laundry
Tell each child "I Love You" at least 10 times...
Put a smile on my face
Tell my husband that he is my everything...

And you know what? I Will do it... Because today is the start of a new chapter.