My eyes are open now, and I love what I see...To quote Jimmy Stewart, "It's a Wonderful Life"

I have been thinking a lot about contentment lately. Am I content? What is content? Does being content mean I am not moving forward? I decided to look up the definition of contentment and this is what I found.

con·tent·ment

noun

noun: contentment

1. 1.

   a state of happiness and satisfaction.

   "he found contentment in living a simple life in the country"

   synonyms:

   contentedness, content, satisfaction, gratification, fulfillment, happiness, pleasure, cheerfulness;

Based on that definition, well I guess I am content. I am pretty satisfied with my life.  I think I was confusing contentment and joy. Two similar words with two different meanings. Joy is a feeling of great pleasure and happiness. That is what I am missing (or so I thought).

 I immediately thought about my life prior to kids, filled with such joy. You know, traveling to Europe, buying a new computer just because I want to, driving a fancy car, blowing hundreds of dollars on new shoes because they were the must have for the season pure joy, right?

Since kids lets tally up my "joy". Lets start with traveling, in the last four years I left one time for two nights to watch my cousin show her fashion creations in a fashion show. Not exactly a European vacation.  O.k. forget about traveling lets talk indulgent purchases. The last computer I purchased was on Black Friday two years ago, and with tax it was under $400. The most expensive pair of shoes I have purchased in the past 4 years was a pair of Ariat boots for the property. Lets skip over indulgent purchases there must be joy here somewhere... Fancy sports car? not so much (but the car I have now is new and I do really like it) o.k. so maybe some joy there... Wow, my joy levels have really gone down since having kids.

How can I have so little joy? That is when it hit me... Why am I associating joy with material possessions? I have far more joy in my life now than I did prior to kids. That first cup of coffee in the morning... Pure Joy! When my kiddos wake up and they are happy and giddy to see me... Pure Joy! When one of my kiddos asks me for a hug... Pure Joy! When one of my kiddos asks me to snuggle with them... Pure Joy! When my hubby comes home from work and tells me he missed me... Pure Joy! This list could go on and on.  Prior to kids I was so caught up in keeping up, that I had no idea how amazing daily life is. There is so much joy to be found in an average day, as long as your eyes are open and looking for it.

I am content with my life, because for the first time I am overjoyed with life. Do I have days that are more challenging than others?  You bet (this week was full of them)... Moving to the country and starting a family has changed my life in so many ways. I had no idea the sky was as blue as it is, or that clouds could be as white and as fluffy as they are. My eyes are open now, and I love what I see. To quote Jimmy Stewart, "It's a Wonderful Life"... I hope all of you are living with your eyes open and enjoying life.